Squirels!

I'm finding myself having a difficult time sustaining focus. I'm in the midst of a second midterm today, yet my exhaustion effects how I am currently preparing for the test. I've attempted to eliminate every distraction I can think of, from putting my back to others, instead of putting on headphones, I have earplugs in, and taking myself off of gChat to avoid unnecessary discussions about anything other than Civil Procedure. Yet I am still getting up to walk around, looking out the windows and reacting to random smells that break my concentration.

I have stared at this outline for just about a week now. I've learned and tried to retain much of it, yet I still feel I couldn't tell you exactly what some of the Rules are as defined. I'm in a struggle to (yup, I just looked outside at this very second) put into words my understand of the rule.

This is a cause for concern. I have spent more time this semester really trying to study than to just keep up with the readings and assignments. I feel as though I have been relatively on top of my game in terms of learning the material and paying attention in class, being engaged. My fear is that this week's studying will be of a waste and that what I have changed is still not enough to get me to where I want to be. Near the top of my game, near the top of my class. I am one who doesn't take losing lightly, although, I have realized I tend to rationalize it better. Whether that is a good thing or bad thing is beyond my desires to contemplate. Nevertheless, I have a high set of expectations for myself because I believe I am capable of many things. My lack of awards may speak otherwise, showing no more than quite possibly my laziness at crucial times. This is not in a lack of effort, it is rather a lack of being smarter about how I approach this. Maybe it may simply be, finding the method as to which will produce the most effective results. Or worst case, maybe I really just don't understand this as well as I thought I did, in which case is just unfortunate and a waste of time. Sad.