In the grand scheme of things, it is just petty victimization of myself. Like Holden from Catcher in the Rye, I'm complaining to play victim, just to defer other issues at hand that I am now consciously obstructing to avoid coping with the stress. There is obviously something wrong there, but I need not focus on that, as it appears inferior to the other aspects I should be focused on. It is a lingering inevitable reality, whom I, often times unbelievingly, state it will come when it comes, but f*ck, f*ck that! What the f*ck is wrong with me? F*ck it. It is what it is. Compassion and kindness escapes. Let it go. IGM time.
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