I started this years ago as an avenue to express my thoughts, feelings, and observations. Last year, I used it as a method to document my experiences through a path of legal enlightenment. Everything in between was some hybrid of thoughts, emotions, and story telling.
I am here before you to return this back to its roots and intentions since its inception almost a decade back. A "decade ago," means I nearly graduated high school that long ago - yet I remember it and reflect upon it as if it was just last year that I walked on the field at Gahr's stadium receiving my diploma and receiving my B.A. at Irvine, walking in the Bren Center like it was yesterday.
Time moves quickly, cares for no one and often, in my case, allows for reflection. I think back and realize, my life, my goals, and expectations I envisioned for myself at this point were not fulfilled as I had dreamed. This leaves me to ponder whether my ideals were absurd and a fantasy or if I had some point completely lost sight and wandered onto another path.
I have always believed that our experiences are a part of fate. We have only so much control over where our lives go and then fate takes over. Anything from the people we meet, the things we do, the trials and tribulations we experience, fate has a hand in it. As I continually reflect on where I am at right now, I have a difficult time staying committed to this belief. It could be that because of my unhappiness of where I am at right now causes this faltering belief. I can't help but ask why am I in the position I am in right now, why couldn't I make better choices, what am I suppose to learn from this that I haven't already learned.
I do not seek confirmation or objection that I am an intelligent, hard-working, loyal and committed person. I know who I am, believe in who I am and have my family to support me. Why am I unhappy? Am I lazy at the critical points that cause for this unsatisfying disposition?
I must be taking the right steps because I am questioning this current state and seeking internal answers to those questions. I wish being a "lost boy" was a profession - maybe Wonderland wasn't a fantasy but an alternate reality. (No, those terms are not the same thing - just like being alone and lonely - that's English for you)
I am here before you to return this back to its roots and intentions since its inception almost a decade back. A "decade ago," means I nearly graduated high school that long ago - yet I remember it and reflect upon it as if it was just last year that I walked on the field at Gahr's stadium receiving my diploma and receiving my B.A. at Irvine, walking in the Bren Center like it was yesterday.
Time moves quickly, cares for no one and often, in my case, allows for reflection. I think back and realize, my life, my goals, and expectations I envisioned for myself at this point were not fulfilled as I had dreamed. This leaves me to ponder whether my ideals were absurd and a fantasy or if I had some point completely lost sight and wandered onto another path.
I have always believed that our experiences are a part of fate. We have only so much control over where our lives go and then fate takes over. Anything from the people we meet, the things we do, the trials and tribulations we experience, fate has a hand in it. As I continually reflect on where I am at right now, I have a difficult time staying committed to this belief. It could be that because of my unhappiness of where I am at right now causes this faltering belief. I can't help but ask why am I in the position I am in right now, why couldn't I make better choices, what am I suppose to learn from this that I haven't already learned.
I do not seek confirmation or objection that I am an intelligent, hard-working, loyal and committed person. I know who I am, believe in who I am and have my family to support me. Why am I unhappy? Am I lazy at the critical points that cause for this unsatisfying disposition?
I must be taking the right steps because I am questioning this current state and seeking internal answers to those questions. I wish being a "lost boy" was a profession - maybe Wonderland wasn't a fantasy but an alternate reality. (No, those terms are not the same thing - just like being alone and lonely - that's English for you)
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