Utilizing the day for giving thanks...

Another year and just another reason to take advantage of this "holiday" to reflect upon the reasons we're all so thankful.  It would be convenient, tedious, and rather boring to just list out a number of things I am and will continue to be thankful for.  However, that list would go on forever and I would quickly lose the attention of this audience (if there ever was one, besides myself) in a matter of seconds.

I am thankful for many things in my life - both abstract and tangible - the obvious of which is my health. Although I could be "strong like bull," I haven't been so fortunate with my joints, the tendons and ligaments, and disc in my spinal column - but then again, it can always be worst.

I am thankful for having been raised in an environment with the love and support that my family has provided for me.  They have taught me many things over the years and have shaped me to be a great man.  A man with the abilities to overcome any obstacle, be compassionate among elders, peers and the youth, prioritize aspects of life that best creates harmony in my world, and to be admirable, honorable, and inspiring to everyone around me.

I am thankful for having the characteristics and personality to have the ability to connect with people - listen to their stories, opinions and experiences - share my own thoughts, feelings, and experiences - formulate relationships with strangers and acquaintances - discover friendships with people of such diverse background - and to be able to consider their point of view, personality and characteristics.  Of course this derives to being thankful for the friends I have that shape and surround my little world.  Without any of you and as cliche as this sounds, I would not be the person I am today, the person I have become, and the person I will continue to evolve into.  No matter how big or minuscule the influence may be - it nevertheless, has had an affect on how I perceive, how I evaluate, how I act, and how I reflect on situations. You are a direct influence to my character and my personality.

It's easy for me to simply say Thank you, just for today.  However, I will continue to show my appreciation, as my gratitude is unparalleled for all that you have done.

Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.

Significant little decisions

Is it a product of our environment, is it in our nature, or is just simply inexplicable that we don't initially recognize that what we conceive as a minor decision has potential consequence/repercussions in our future path. Basically, what we perceive are small decisions may handcuff our potential future.

The majority of us have this innate character flaw where we lose sight of the smallest things that can and most often will come back to bit us in the butt.  For those few who are so calculated and precise in every aspect of their lives and decision-making, live with such stresses that life can become unenjoyable - and that in itself defeats our primary goal of being happy.

Our end-game, end-all has always been and will forever be, to live a life of happiness.  We each have different ideas of what makes us happy, whether it is material, conceptual, idealistic, or hypothetical - our pursuit of happiness is our life's journey.

It's a matter of opinion on how you perceive this, but for me, I have been fortunate enough to explore several avenues in my pursuit of happiness.

I have experienced the life of a competitive/professional athlete - realizing the breakdown and constant repetitive movement of joints, muscles, ligaments, tendons, and bones limits ones ability to succeed and what effect it can produce mentally in an athlete.  Coming to grips with the idea that this path was no longer to be and what changes I would have made and will make with my own children - as hindsight is always 20-20.  The life of a professional athlete can be one that is lonely and isolated, as the demands for perfection continue to rise and greater sacrifice is needed.

I pursued a path of nobility and prestige - in my perception - with Law school.  I have always been fascinated with how our society functions under the rule of law.  We elect officials whom we put our trust in (as I like to call it, blind faith), to create and pass legislations that govern what we can and cannot do.  All in the hopes that they are looking out for our best interest.

This was one of my best experiences - meeting the people that I did - formulating the friendships - and understanding that some of the most minuscule things can lead to something very big or even a blessing in disguise.  Learning the thought process and what it takes to do what attorney's do, was monetarily costly, but invaluable in what I learned about myself and how to approach situations.  As much as we are wired to feel and think emotionally - my hat goes off to those in this industry that can separate emotion and think creatively, meticulously, and rationally.

I'm have embarked on yet another journey - yet this one I find myself feeling more excited about and the possibilities it encompasses.

Savages

My title does not refer to the full-length feature film in theaters nor the book it was based on.  I cite the term Savages to reference our society and our thirst for pain, suffering and carnage.

In light of the events in Colorado, and of years past, we have always had this innate desire/curiosity to observe unfortunate events at the expense of our "brothers and sisters," fellow human beings regardless of race and sex.  Events as horrible and senseless as Colorado to things as petty as car accidents along the freeways.  

We as a society dwell on these events like Co., plastering it all over the news, including the suspect's arraignment, plead, personal history, characteristics, family, social life, etc.  I'm all for being informed with current events, understanding history and not making the same mistakes - however, I'm sure in two weeks - even up to months, we will undoubtedly revert back to this event and continue reporting about it.  All we are doing is giving the suspect the fulfillment of being a celebrity and giving him just what he wants, the publicity.  Worst, the amount of publicity given to him and his actions, cause others to learn more and potentially copy cat this horrific event.  We don't want to see that, I don't want to see that.

What irks me the most is with accidents on the road.  This past Tuesday, I was driving up the 405 North where there was a pretty bad 3 car accident.  It was two sedans and a pick-up truck.  The car crash was enough to essentially block the two inside lanes (carpool and fast lane).  Naturally people on the 405 North had to slow down and eventually those in the blocked lanes had to merge with the other three lanes - thus it is understandable that it was slow and there would be traffic.  Instead of focusing on the accident, I noticed on the other side of the freeway divider - cars were piling up - slowing down to observe the crash - I was astound to see cars backed up 15 miles back.  Mind you, this is at 11:30am where there are typically little congestion.  Traffic on the opposite side was 10 miles more than on the side the accident actually happened.  

Whether it is a fatal event or a minor fender bender - we seek any means to fulfill our thirst for affliction.

Documented

I started this years ago as an avenue to express my thoughts, feelings, and observations.  Last year, I used it as a method to document my experiences through a path of legal enlightenment.  Everything in between was some hybrid of thoughts, emotions, and story telling.  


I am here before you to return this back to its roots and intentions since its inception almost a decade back.  A "decade ago," means I nearly graduated high school that long ago - yet I remember it and reflect upon it as if it was just last year that I walked on the field at Gahr's stadium receiving my diploma and receiving my B.A. at Irvine, walking in the Bren Center like it was yesterday.


Time moves quickly, cares for no one and often, in my case, allows for reflection.  I think back and realize, my life, my goals, and expectations I envisioned for myself at this point were not fulfilled as I had dreamed.  This leaves me to ponder whether my ideals were absurd and a fantasy or if I had some point completely lost sight and wandered onto another path.  


I have always believed that our experiences are a part of fate.  We have only so much control over where our lives go and then fate takes over.  Anything from the people we meet, the things we do, the trials and tribulations we experience, fate has a hand in it.  As I continually reflect on where I am at right now, I have a difficult time staying committed to this belief.  It could be that because of my unhappiness of where I am at right now causes this faltering belief.  I can't help but ask why am I in the position I am in right now, why couldn't I make better choices, what am I suppose to learn from this that I haven't already learned.  


I do not seek confirmation or objection that I am an intelligent, hard-working, loyal and committed person.  I know who I am, believe in who I am and have my family to support me.  Why am I unhappy?  Am I lazy at the critical points that cause for this unsatisfying disposition?


I must be taking the right steps because I am questioning this current state and seeking internal answers to those questions.  I wish being a "lost boy" was a profession - maybe Wonderland wasn't a fantasy but an alternate reality. (No, those terms are not the same thing - just like being alone and lonely - that's English for you)

Persevering through maturation

I strayed away from updating this in December because there was nothing worth updating in the state of mind I was in and the happenings of my own world. It was a dark and struggling time both mentally and physically. However, with the new year and my fight and belief that I would be able to get out of the slump I found myself in, I discovered the break I had been desperately searching for. New opportunities and experiences were right before me.

Although skeptical with this opportunity, for reasons I will later divulge - I really had no choice but to convince myself that this opportunity was a right one - if nothing else, I was quickly learning a new business and skill set that with stick with me for the rest of my life. Nevertheless a very valuable skill set that will help with future dealings and business development.

Here we are - a new year - new opportunity - living day by day - trying not to create added expectations - but to truly appreciate moments, both good and bad, stressful and fun.

I'm continuing to add blocks to my character, my personality, my experience, my being - working on adding new blocks while chipping away the unwanted parts - constructing my own masterpiece.


"In reality, all men are sculptors chipping away the unwanted parts of their lives, trying to create their idea of the masterpiece." - Eddie Murphy

If I have done as much as to learn something new, something as little as a definition of a word, or to go as far as to help some gain perspective, to appreciate something a little bit more or to love something, someone for who they are and what they do - accomplishment is mine.

I wish not to challenge an opinion or point of view out of spite but to do so in providing perspective, relieving ignorance and assisting in educated, calculated decisions.

I hope all aspects of my life continue to flourish - as they have in the passing weeks. Nothing is worth placing so much stress over.

Opportunities will come. Money will come. Laughter will come. Friends will come. Love will come. Life happens and what we make of the journey is what defines us. My outlook is obviously bright and optimistic - I don't doubt I will cross more patches of heartache, loneliness, stressful situations, sad situations, upsetting situations and the like.

I have been raised in an environment to persevere through the toughest of times and the easiest, I must appreciate where I am at, what I'm doing and who I have around me because without any of it, I am not me. Not who I am meant to be.

Smile.