I do not know where to begin. There is so much to say but at this moment, words are hard to find.
To be perfectly honest, I am having a hard time writing what I want to say because I am slightly unmotivated to do such. I have the facts and the observations to produce an entry but lack the time and motivating creative juices to fuel.
So here we are again, at a stalemate, waiting for that nudge to push me over the edge and let this all spill out.
In the pass few weeks, I have come to realize I censor a lot of things that pop into my head. At times I avoid making comments or voicing my opinions because I consider the ramifications of these actions and how it may affect the relationship in the big picture. I am having more trouble figuring out when to voice versus when not to.
In the end, I have this perception that I need to be more aggressive and go after what I want. I struggle with what the reaction may be. Whether as a consequence of my aggressiveness, I will have an unfavorable response and essentially not get what I want than sitting back and letting it potentially come to me.
I fight this trait of mine everyday. The situation varies in all aspects of my life. I continuously rationalize that fate will step in and do its work for the things I want in my life. So far, fate stepped in some parts but took a vacation in other parts. Then again, maybe it actually did step in and decided for me that whatever it is I wanted at the time was in fact not good for me in the long run. Who knows? That’s the issue. Ha.
Self-evaluation can be a great tool and asset; however, it can also work against me. Because I constantly self-evaluate, I talk myself into passive inaction versus pursuing things I want or think that I want. I act more cautiously because I think things through and I make conscious decisions rather than with impulse. I look at it as a good trait to have, but realize I missed out on those stupid mistakes I could have made when I was younger. The older you get, the less free passes people give you.
In certain professions, perception can mean everything. One’s perception can be worth much more than their knowledge. We play this perception game in every day of our lives. People create first impressions. Often times, they are very difficult to overcome. This is more evident outside the states.
I have been told numerous times that the French do not like Americans. We have the perception to be arrogant, entitled, pompous, loud and rude. They have every right to think so. Unfortunately there are those of us who shouldn’t be grouped into this stereotype of Americans. Then again, get a few drinks in us and the story changes.
I find this whole business hilarious. When it all comes together, I find that we are all just ignorant people, whether it is Americans, French, every country, and every human being. This cultural barrier we have separating groups of people clash when we visit the other’s home. Americans are blah, blah, blah. Well, we are classified as such because the people judging have no evidence to think otherwise. Probably because they choose not to care to find out who each American really is as a person. The feeling would be reciprocated if the situation was vice versa. It is unfortunate that there are people out there in this world who could careless about the outside world. People are comfortable in their skin, in their environment, and in their minds. They have no desires to explore what this world has to offer, what other people have to offer, and what other cultures have to offer. I sympathize for those who share this type of thinking and feeling. You will never live. You will never learn to your potential. You will never appreciate all the beauty that is out there. Ignorance may indeed be bliss, but knowledge is power.
I apologize, I kind of ventured off on a tangent in terms of the topic. The title of this entry may not necessarily directly pertain to what was stated here. But hey, you read it. I promise to update with something more pertinent to my travels.
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