Philadelphia, PA land of our history and for this week, genius physicist

I'm currently in Philadelphia, PA. Where its hot, humid, and uncomfortable. The city from what I've seen so far, which isn't much because I've been preoccupied with the AAPM convention (American Association of Physicist Medicine), is a gorgeous city with historic implications and atmosphere and the buildings look so tall and amazing. Yes that seemed like a run-on sentence, cause I think it was.

The AAPM convention is much smaller and slower than previous years, but I can't complain since its in an air conditioned convention center and I don't have to be in the heat and humidity. People watching here is like a GOLDMINE! Geniuses, Physicist, Doctors, CEOs, Sales Representatives, Head of Radiation dept., head of medicine, and students alike roam the exhibit hall talking to each other and talking to exhibitors like myself but just the way some of these people decide to dress, the way they talk to each other, their body language, and their attitudes, the diversity of it is unmatched. You get those who are timid, those who are stuck up, those who are oblivious, and those who just don't know any better.

Just the social interactions tell a lot about the environment and atmosphere the Medical field has. I will say that I am in the company of some very driven people, most of which, if not all, are in this field in some way and form to help people and provide a better quality of life. These pieces (companies and people) all come together to help people eliminate and recover from cancer and to extend their lives if only for just another day, month, or year.

I definitely see the greediness in trying to get the most business as possible and make as much money as they can but "underneath it all," I see the compassion and the desire to help people in need and to continue this species we call Humans continuing.

Slightly deep for an observational entry but when its this slow and empty in the exhibit hall, I gots time to do business and write a bit more.

San Diego

Just about have my place of residence squared away down in San Diego.

Oh San Diego... German for a whales vagina, what will you hold for me? What shall I expect to experience out there? Will I be distracted with all that you have to offer? Or will I be strong enough to endure your temptations for 3 years and then enjoy all you bring to inhabitants of your area? San Diego, voted top 10 in all the places to live in the United States. Thats pretty damn good if I say so myself.


I'm distracted with other things, too many things on my mind, good day turned bad, until next time.

Underneath It All

To simply put it, in blatant terms, something all of us can understand and not have to analyze or look into it anymore, or at least I don't think you have to.

I'm afraid.

You're probably wondering what I'm afraid of. Well, there are plenty of things. Some slight, some large, some not so large. Nevertheless there is plenty of fear instilled in me.

I'm afraid of failing my parents, my family. All their hard work and money going to waste on me.

I'm afraid of being rejected, although I think over the years I've become better at accepting it for what it is. Or I'm just better at rationalizing. I tend to over analyze and then do things that I think would help the situation but then I think I'm doing too much or I become paralyzed by fear of upsetting the other person.

I'm afraid I'll be unhappy with my life, regret more things than I should and be miserable.

I'm able to temporarily supress these fears, fortunately as years past, I become better at supressing them for a longer period of time but eventually they'll rear their ugly heads and say hello for a while.

ugh, F-It.

I'll be straight forward, this next part is about you, you know who you are if you're reading this... hopefully.

I think you're amazing. I have so much fun with you and I enjoy every moment we spend hanging out. We have a lot in common, odd since we've known each other for a very very long time (that should have been the giveaway)

I'm not sure what it is, I haven't been able to pin-point why I feel the way I do about you so much. It could be a number of things, to be frank, I wonder if its because I haven't had the opportunity to be like this with anyone in years. Whatever it is, I'm glad its you and I'm glad we're able to do what we are doing and I am able to share and experience whatever this is.

I know what you don't want and I understand how it can be difficult to explain what you're feeling but sometimes, we can't plan for things that appear right in front of us. Things happen and sometimes the right thing to do is go with it.

I hate asking this and I really can't explain what function of my brain is causing this need but it desires to know what the expectations are and what "this" is? Where its headed, if it's headed anywhere and really just what to make of it.

Then again, who am I kidding, who reads what I have to say anyways. No thanks, no sympathy is needed.

If you are in fact reading this though, thank you, I'm grateful, flattered, and impressed.

"There's times where I want something more, someone more like me."

A Theoretical Philosophical Revolutionist in disguise?

Haha, I wish. But the more I read about my observations, my thoughts, ideas, and feelings, the more I find myself wondering why and how the questions I ponder, come from? Why do I think the way I do? How do I get to those kinds of thoughts?

Why do I wonder why and where human nature, the person(s) who defined what human nature were, etc. etc.

Where do social norms come from? Who decided what was what and how we are suppose to be who we are?

I don't set out to necessarily find the answer or provide the answers, I simply ask them because it shows me that my mind is thinking and that I am alive.

I saw a commercial today that ask why people do crazy things, why people do things they normally wouldn't do or do things that put themselves out of their comfort zones? And at the end of the commercial, it basically states that we do these things because we want to know we are alive.

So, go do something crazy, out of your normalcy, something out of your comfort zone, that makes you feel, ALIVE.

Don't settle for routines. Theres comfort in routine, but you become robotic in nature as a consequence. Break out of the shell. Break free of your inhibitions. Release them. I won't tell anyone. But be mindful, observant, because you'll experience your livelihood, your freedom, and you, being, ALIVE.

1L of a Ride - Cultural Learnings of Law School Readings

So I've started my "summer" reading. "1L of a Ride" - it is a road map guidebook for 1st year law students. It gives insight to what to expect, what to do, and how to approach everything involved in your first year of Law school. Its quite intriguing and also very informative. So far its covered what to do prior to starting school in terms of tangibles and intangibles. How to mentally, physically, and materialistically prepare for what lies ahead of me. I've read through the five most common fears among 1st year law students. Boy was this author/professor on the money with that stuff. However, the most relieving piece of passage I have read, stated that as sad as it is, most often times the students who worry the most end up performing the best. I have an unwavering fear of what law school will bring and what stress and discomfort it may cause, but at the same time, I have this excitement for what it can bring and what experiences I will have and how exciting it is to be in a different place, different environment, with the challenges I will be confronted with and how I will address those challenges.

We all reach obstacles and have curve balls thrown at us, both figuratively and literally, but how we approach them, how we react to them, can truly define who we are, display our growth, our learning, and so on and so forth.

As a former athlete, pressure is always on and comes from every direction. To some, I may have folded under that pressure, but I will tell you from my heart, I have never given up, I have always put in my best, all my effort, there may have been times where my best effort wasn't up to par, wasn't where many thought it would be at that time, but then again, I can't complain, I can't regret any of it, because without any of the events preceding this post, I wouldn't be who I am, I wouldn't be where I am, and I wouldn't have the experiences I have had.

I look forward to the future, what it holds, what lies ahead of me, what it will bring. I will do my best to be cautious, be mindful, be educated, be evaluative, be critical, be intelligent, be the best that I can be, and most importantly, be me.

As I continue my "summer" reading, I will continue to share my thoughts and "cultural learnings."