Silent Nights

Happy Festivus! Merry Christmas!

I hope all received what they wished for.

Surviving would not be the right word to use. I'd rather use completed. I completed my first semester of Law school a few weeks ago. Although it was an indescribable experience, nevertheless a necessary task as I am now no longer ignorant as to how to study for finals in grad school and what I need to do throughout the semester to prepare for finals. I was the naive first semester 1L who did not know any better and decided that spending "review" week really studying and learning the material was enough time and a good idea. I was very wrong and quickly reminded this was not undergrad anymore. I will attest that I felt I did achieve a lot in the time I had and performed to my best ability. Unfortunately I received my first final grade last week and was greatly disappointed. There really isn't an excuse, however, I will say that many of my classmates have come to a consensus that we are one of the brighter sections, which makes it very competitive to score high. Law school is were the curve resides. We are not graded strictly with the material but with our fellow classmates. So you may score really well on the test but if everyone else in your class did just as well and wrote better, well you may end up with a mid-level score. It may appear unfair but its a reality and breeds the competitive nature that is Law school.

Beyond first semester, I have been literally sitting on my ass doing absolutely nothing. It is both relaxing but oh so very boring. I'm blending days together and am being ridiculously unproductive. As odd as it may sound, I cannot wait to return to school and start up my routine once again. I guess its a good thing that I'm excited to start again because it means I'm really enjoying school and everything that comes with it. I may have doubted what I was getting myself into and if this was really for me but I was pleasantly mistaken.

In other thoughts, I believe I am currently in an awkward uncertain stage in terms of friendships. I'm sadly admitting I am drifting further away from my undergrad friends. I reminisce of the good times we spent together hanging out and shooting the shit but now that I have ventured off to school and many remain in Orange County as well as some in other parts of the US, I rarely have the opportunity to speak with them or spend time with. I see the probability there being a rekindling once I finish but for the time being, it is too far to predict. As with my classmates, I have stumbled upon and formed a good group of people I certainly call friends, however, its still in the forming stage as the walls slowly come down. Its been a short time when you reflect on it, 4 months, to form deep friendships, but under the circumstances, the struggles we had through our first semester and our respective views/personalities from our backgrounds meshing, I'm glad things played out the way they have.

Its a funny observation to see the difference from people's motivation in undergrad versus law school. Its obvious there is much more at stake in law school as you're spending thousands for an advance degree and the privilege of practicing law. It does take a type of person to pursue a Juris Doctorate and succeed. Some may do it because they can't think of anything else to do and there are those to who are wholly driven and motivated. My school breeds camaraderie and respect no matter the exterior circumstances. So far, I'm loving my environment, I just hope that this continues throughout the three years. My group of friends are driven, motivated, focus and supportive, its a blessing because it helps me stay on my game and keeps me accountable to myself and to them. Thank you guys.

It'll probably be a while before I write again and since I'm on a roll, I will just continue. In my current state of boredom, I'm given the opportunity to sit in my leisure and think/reflect on many of things. Random, minuscule, significant, funny, serious, you name it, I've had plenty of time to get across to all of them. Sad but true. I wonder if people share the same feelings as I do when I say that I have acquaintances (and I call them acquaintances by default since I don't believe we truly have a friendship) that I would sincerely like to develop friendships with but are unable to, not because I was not willing or did not try but because they do not respond as you had hoped. I will admit I am guilty of such action or rather lack thereof. I have ignored or passed over people's attempts to get a hold of me, however, in the past couple of years, I have made a conscious effort to reciprocate the effort and respond. We are no longer in a world of WHAT we know, but rather WHO we know and our development of networks. Networks make our society run at its optimum. I may have a friend who needs help with something I am unfamiliar with, but may be able to reference them to another friend who is a specialist in such a field. In that case, everyone wins.

It is disheartening to think of such things, but I'd like to think they do in fact have priorities to attend to, thus the reason they are unable to respond, but I know that is more often than not, a lie. We prioritize people, categorize them, whether through perception, experiences (good/bad), and reputations, thats just how things work. I can say I have never intentionally tried to get someone to hate me, I'd like to think I'm a like-able guy, but there are bound to be someone who is irritated by me or genuinely doesn't like me. So be it. I'm thrilled at the thought of the hundreds and thousands of people I will meet in my future. Those in my past, though many not by choice, will be just that, my past. My future holds people with personalities, stories, and opinions that will inevitably influence my being and contribute to my evolution. I cannot wait, but while I'm here in this moment, please stop by and say hi. I will forever be grateful for such gestures.

Storm Chasing...

The storm awaits. I am on the eve of the first storm that guides my future. First final of my law school career and it just happens to be the one subject I've had the most exposure to over the years but also has the most information to understand and remember. Can you guess? Criminal Law. Exciting I know.

I have this feeling that this test may well be the better one of all the finals I will be taking. Reason being is that I've had the most time to prepare for this test.

Note: Quick shout out to Meghan and Naz, they've just entrusted me to hold their room key as they step out for something. FYI, you're reading this, you guys should know you're two of my favorites at law school. You guys started as simply acquaintances but have developed into some good friends. Thank you for being so kind. Both of you guys are sweet, kind hearted souls. You make law school that much more enjoyable. Also doesn't hurt that you guys are so intelligent and focused that its a motivating factor for me to strive to be better. (have I praised you guys enough? haha)

Where was I?

As I continue to review my notes on how to get away with homicide, I can't help but appreciate the drive, people in the library have, taking the necessary steps to become what they desire to be. I can't fathom the amount of brain power being produced in this building at this very moment. We could probably generate enough energy to provide power to a small village. Either that, or be able to run a small country. ha.

Nevertheless, no stress, I'm enjoying the process and appreciating where I am. All with a big smile on my face.